Updated: Feb 12, 2018
Let’s start this off by giving my wife a round of applause. Go ahead stand up, she deserves it. I come to her with spontaneous and half thought out ideas on what seems to be a regular basis. She reels me back in, and I seem content for a given amount of time. Needless to say, she surprised me when she took to this one with little to no hesitation.
I can admit I’ve never been the most conventional individual. Most of you who truly know me can probably attest to that. Conventional is relative. From the age I was old enough to comprehend the major heart surgery I underwent as an infant, and the possible implications on my future, the term conventional became blurred. My conventional has never been planning for retirement, I've honestly never been sure if I would make it there. Now fast forward past the teenage panic attacks, and the impending fear of doom, I wind up in my thirties focused on a new question. I’m still here, now what am I supposed to be doing?
It’s not that I had lost my way. I had made a life in the process. A wife, two healthy kids, and a job that paid well enough for my wife to be at home with the kiddos. The question pertained to an overall belief that there must be a larger calling I’m missing. Surely, I didn’t make it through all I had been through to be set on fairly ordinary. Commute two hours daily to the job that defined the classic cliches of corporate America. A job that had sucked out the remaining passion I once had for aviation. Skate through activities with my family feeling tired, and hardly present. To be at church, and at the same time be planning the things I needed to do after church. I’d grown to accept that life is just busy, not everybody loves what they are doing.… deal with it.
This journey might not be the emergency exit signs illuminating the path labeled “do this one thing now!” I do, however, believe this time will help open doors, windows, and opportunities that may guide that path. Don’t confuse this conversation with me being ungrateful. I can find joy in some of the most minute details of life. I am truly blessed, we are truly blessed.
Now my wife has several variants and explanations for this journey that I've encouraged her to share. I'm sure that the moment she doesn't have two kids screaming at her about breakfast, snacks, videos, lunch, breakfast, snacks, videos, lunch, she will take the time to share them with you all. Personally, I have just come to believe that God put me here to change lives, and impact others. I feel like I have been falling short of meeting those expectations. Especially when I place other values ahead of intentionally pursuing that. If you feel stuck, do something. We are doing something.